Part 3: The Privacy Paradox

The third and final installment of my series on the naked truth about Germany.

I would say that the German nation is more private than any other nation I know – but paradoxically, as you’ve already read, they seem to protect the privacy of everything apart from their private parts.

Privacy law is taken very seriously in Germany; much more so than in the UK, where we have an incredibly intrusive media. Due to historical reasons, privacy law in Germany is one of the strictest in the world. Under the Nazi regime and in GDR times, people were under constant surveillance and faced persecution. The Gestapo and the Stasi used methods that severely infringed people’s privacy and had a terrifying impact on their personal lives. Memories of this are still strong and have a massive impact on people’s attitudes and therefore also privacy law itself. Germany, for example, has 17 official bodies responsible for enforcing data protection; one federal one and one for each of the 16 Länder/states. Both Facebook and Google have faced difficulties in dealing with breaches of privacy here. Google have even abandoned Street View in Germany after huge privacy opposition when they first sent their cars in. Before this, Google were forced to agree to allow German residents to opt-out of having their homes or business pictured online by blurring the images; 3% of households chose this option.

When they first meet you, Germans will make a point of shaking your hand – establishing touch, but at arm’s length. This for me summarizes the German attitude – they will be perfectly polite, but that’s often as far as it goes. Maybe it’s just me, but if I move house, whether it be into a new building of flats or a house, I go and make a point of introducing myself to my new neighbours. The Germans, despite being completely willing to strip off naked and reveal all in a sauna, generally don’t have any contact with their neighbours – or take a long while to establish contact – and certainly don’t go around knocking on doors to introduce  themselves. I’ve been living in my building for almost 3 years now and I still don’t know all my neighbours.  It took at least 6 months before a single neighbour even spoke to me – and another 6 months before we were invited up for drinks (and we speak the language). To this day, I wouldn’t be able to tell you much about this neighbour – they simply don’t reveal much about themselves (just of themselves in the sauna that is) and it is difficult, although not impossible, to establish friendships because of this.

At work, privacy is also rife. I once shared an office with a guy who used to bike into work. He would go as far as changing out of his biking clothes into his work clothes in front of me (and hanging them on the radiator to dry), but otherwise only managed a “Guten Morgen” and “Tschüss” to me all day long. I once tried asking him a more personal question to break the ice. “So how was your weekend?” He looked surprised, looked up briefly, and answered, “Good, thanks”, and that was that. A colleague, who joined the company from Brazil told me a similar story. On his first day at work, he went to lunch with his colleagues. He started chatting and asking questions about their families, and so on. One guy actually turned around and asked him to stop asking such personal questions.

I like my colleagues, but I honestly couldn’t tell you anything about who they are. I now know that it has nothing to do with me and that they are not being rude; they simply like to clearly separate their work life from their private life. Nevertheless, I’m sure that if I were to pop down to the work sauna tonight, I would discover more than I ever wanted to know. 

Part 2: Free body culture (FKK)

A thin metallic rope separates my garden from that of my neighbour’s. If I look to the left, I have a direct view of their entire terrace and part of their living room; not very private at all. My neighbours are medicine students and they often parade their roughly 25 year-old, muscly, gym-toned bodies wearing just their tight boxers outside on said terrace while rubbing suncream into each other’s backs (they both have girlfriends, by the way).  Ok, I admit that I secretly enjoy this.  That was, until a few weeks ago, when I was quietly enjoying my dinner outside with my husband.  I glanced over to my neighbour’s flat and saw my neighbour completely au naturel. Yes, you heard it, in the nuddy. The worst thing about this was that the balcony door was wide open and I could hear him talking to his flatmate as if he were also standing there in the very same room. I resisted the urge to keep my head turned long enough to see if he was also baring all.

Go down to your local gym and you will find changing rooms full of people getting undressed,  dressed, showered, etc. in big, open rooms, all naked, all together. Who needs separate shower cubicles or separate changing cubicles anyway? (Me!) Go to your doctor for an ankle examination and he will ask you to take off your trousers first. Go for a quiet Sunday walk along the river in Heidelberg and you will find unofficially designated areas for naked sunbathers, who take naked showers beside the river. Switch on the TV after midnight and you will be confronted with even more naked bodies.

Germany is famous for starting FKK (Freikörperkultur) – the free body culture movement, which basically boils down to enjoying the experience of being nude, whether in a club, on a beach, pool, park, etc. The first FKK club was formed in 1898 and events, summer camps, even holidays organized according to FKK principles continue to this day, albeit to a lesser extent. According to the Guardian, German nudity is on the decline at a rate of 2% per year due to falling birth rates and increased immigrants coming from countries with strong religious beliefs.

 A few years ago now, I remember hearing about naturist holidays in Germany. FKK has always been more of an Eastern German phenomenon and these holidays catered towards the former East Germans, fondly known as the “Ossis”. Not just FKK in a resort though – FKK im Flugzeug (in the aeroplane), too. Jawohl, they were offering naked flights to Germany’s Baltic Sea (which is also literally baltic by the way, but that is beside the point.) Passengers were allowed to undress once in the aeroplane and dress again on landing. For safety reasons, however, pilots and air hostesses had to remain fully clothed. What a relief.

As the famous German folk song goes, “Über den Wolken muss die Freiheit wohl grenzenlos sein.” Above the clouds (as well as on the ground) in Germany, freedom, it would seem, does indeed know no bounds.    

Part 1.5: Sausage Saunas

Has anyone ever tried a Bavarian Weißwurst? I have and they taste good.

Weißwurst, literally white sausage, is a traditional Bavarian sausage made from minced veal and pork bacon. They are generally eaten as a snack between breakfast and lunch. The sausage is brought to the table in a big bowl together with the cooking liquid (so they don’t cool down too much) and then eaten without the skin. You can literally bite or cut the end of the sausage open and suck the meat out from the skin (or of course be more couth, cut out the contents and eat with a knife and fork). It is usually served with sweet mustard and a pretzel and washed down with Bavarian Weissbier.

Yesterday, the Weißwurst took on a whole new meaning for me. Upon reading my blog post about saunas in Germany, a German colleague told me a story about a visit to her favourite sauna last week. It made my day and so I have to share it with you all, hence part 1.5.

In her sauna, they are offering Oktoberfest specials.  It is the season of the Oktoberfest and perhaps they offer you a free beer after your sauna, you think? Oh no, far, far more than that. Read on.

The Aufguss (infusion) – so, essentially, the scent of the sauna, was Weißwurst: made from the water the sausages had been cooked in along with some rosemary and thyme. The guy responsible for pouring the infusion over the hot coals was also naked, wearing only a Lederhosen apron. Apparently he entered singing Nena’s 99 Luftballons song and then during the whole infusion, Oktoberfest party songs were played. So what happened to the sausages they cooked in the water?  Here is your answer: they were served up after the sauna to the naked sauna goers.

I have eaten lots of sausages during my time here, and I am a big fan, but I have never, ever eaten a sausage naked. Give me a few more years here and perhaps I will be converted, just like I was with the "normal" sauna. My colleague assures me it was a “special” experience. Even for a German.

Part 1: Anyone for a naked sauna?

1998: I am British and I don’t do naked.

My first experience of a German sauna was in 1998 while on a group skiing trip in the alps. I went along with my fellow British friend in our swimsuits. Clutching our towels, we opened the sauna door and walked in. “Keine Badeanzüge in der Sauna – Textilfrei,” (no bathing suits – textile-free) came a voice from within. Of course we had heard that German saunas are naked, but I suppose we still had a vague British hope that we would be able to “choose” whether we went in naked or not.  No, it was strip off or get lost. We giggled, turned red (and not from the heat of the sauna) and made a run for it. At that point in time the thought of being squeezed into a small hot room of nudity with the rest of my ski class including my ski instructor was too much to bear. The trick is not to look, my German friend said. Nobody looks. Yeah right. How could I possibly look my ski instructor in the eyes with a straight face on the ski slopes the following day after that? A German sauna is all about health and relaxation, my friend said. It’s not sexy (no, definitely not); there are all kinds of body shapes and sizes, male and female in the sauna. It’s just bodies at the end of the day; naked bodies = normal. I was not convinced. It took me years to pluck up the courage to go again. And this time not in the alps and not with my skiing class, but with my boyfriend in a sauna far from home and full of people we had never met before and would, hopefully, never meet again.

2012: I am a German sauna convert – a veteran to the whole experience.

Well, almost.

I go to my mum’s spa club in Scotland and laugh almost condescendingly at those who go to the sauna and steam rooms in their bathing suits and don’t shower down the surface they were sitting on afterwards – how unhygienic! Do they not know that it is unhealthy to block the skin? The idea is to allow the toxins and sweat to release from your body. Put a bathing suit on and all you do is overheat.

However, I say almost, because I do still draw the line at a sauna experience with my in-laws, friends and in particular, work colleagues. Yes – at my company, we have two sauna rooms and whereas usually the sessions are mixed, you can sign up for a female or male only session. Sign up? Yes. There is an intranet page where you can actually reserve your place in the sauna and declare your intention of going to the sauna on a particular day at a particular time to anyone in the company who cares to look. Why on earth would you risk meeting someone you work with directly or worse still, your boss, in the sauna? I’ve even heard of colleagues going on team building trips and then spending the evening in the sauna together. The mere thought horrifies me.

How should one sauna? Obviously this is up to you; but it is said that in order to maximize the benefits, you should stay in the sauna for 12-15 minutes a session. You can then take a cold shower, relax on a lounger and then repeat the process as you please. There are of course also certain rules that should be obeyed to avoid the scorn of the sauna-ing Germans. For example, be sure to enter or leave the sauna quickly and not to leave the door open for long. Put your towel down on the wood and do not allow your skin to touch it – not even your feet (skin oils are bad for the wood apparently). Also, try to avoid entering a sauna during an “Aufguss” – infusion – these are scented oils in buckets of water that are poured over the coals giving extra heat to the sauna.

So, do as the Germans do and leave your modesty (and all of your clothes) behind in the changing rooms. Once you get used to it, you will never look back. There is nothing better than a naked German sauna – particularly during a cold, German winter. 

Local festivities of the non-reunification nature

The Germans have a saying “Man muss die Feste feiern, wie sie fallen”, which basically means celebrate whenever you get the chance.

Last weekend was the annual “Heidelberger Herbst” festival (Autumn Festival) in the centre of Heidelberg and I really enjoy it (or at least used to enjoy it – dragging a one and a half year old around packed streets just doesn’t have quite the same appeal.) Festivals are something the Germans do well; they love their festivals and September/October time in this region is jam-packed full of them. Apart from carnival or the classic Oktoberfest or Love Parade that everyone knows, every little town around here finds an excuse to whack out the Bier, Wein, and Bratwurst stands.  And in Heidelberg’s case last weekend, the Federweizen and Zwiebelkuchen (new wine and onion cake). Lecker, lecker. Yum, yum.

There is something for everyone at the Heidelberger Herbst; live musical entertainment, an artisan’s market, a medieval market square, flea markets, face-painting, etc.  for kids – no excuse just to install yourself at one Bier and Bratwurst stand all day long.

The other festival I enjoy at this time of the year is the Kastanienfest (Chestnut Festival) in Edenkoben where you really can sample everything chestnut – chestnut sausage, chestnut burgers, chestnut Saumagen (stuffed pig’s stomach – bit like a German haggis) or just have a bag of roasted chestnuts accompanied by a local Riesling or Sekt.

My third festival of choice is the Spargelfest (Asparagus Festival) in Schwetzingen, which takes place in  May.  Here you can sample the traditional local white asparagus with hollandaise sauce, have an asparagus schnapps or taste some asparagus chocolate. Have you ever seen an asparagus-shaped chocolate? Either let your imagination run wild or run a quick google.de images search typing in “asparagus Schokolade” and check out the first two pictures that appear. Then imagine the look of horror on my friend’s colleagues’ faces in Scotland when he took them some back after a trip over here.

There are many more. Not to mention, of course, the world-famous “Weihnachtsmärkte” or Christmas Markets, but more on that one nearer the time.

Where are my German reunification fireworks?

Once the Berlin Wall fell on the 9^th of November, 1989, Germany began the process of reunification and the official treaty was signed in 1990. Die deutsche Einheit (German unity) is celebrated on the 3^rd of October every year with a public holiday. It isn’t celebrated on the day the wall fell, ironically, because this just happens to also be the anniversary of the first large-scale Nazi-led pogrom against the Jews in 1938 (the Kristallnacht), so was rightly considered an inappropriate date for a national holiday.

I usually enjoy going to the odd German festival – and festivals is definitely something the Germans do a lot of – so a few years ago now, I looked into what kind of local celebrations I could attend. I couldn’t come up with anything. Why don’t the Germans celebrate their day of unity in the same way as the Americans on the 4^th of July, for example? It seemed odd to me. I learned that there is a big official celebration that rotates every year – this year it took place in Munich – but otherwise no flags, no parades, no fireworks, no celebrations on a more local level. The nearest the Germans get to a national festival it would seem is the annual Oktoberfest (which once you have experienced once, you want to steer well clear of for the rest of your life.)

Ask a German why there are no celebrations and you don’t get any clear answers – they don’t know (or won’t say.) Is it really indifference to their country becoming one again? Are they silently protesting against the “Solidaritätszuschlag” or “Soli”? I doubt it. This is, by the way, a reunification tax introduced in 1991 to help finance the reunification. I pay around 18 Euros a month on this tax – and there is no way of opting out like with the church tax. So, what is my money being spent on and why isn’t my being spent on some pretty fireworks? Over 10 years of work here, I roughly calculate my contribution at 2500 Euros worth of reunification tax. Multiply that by some 80 million Einwohner and you get a sizeable sum. So, again, some pretty fireworks would be nice, please. Or even a free Bratwurst would do me.

Perhaps the fact that my money isn’t being spent on fireworks or Bratwurst can be put down to the fact that the average German is still very hesitant about displaying any kind of national pride. A lingering sense of shame and difficulty coming to terms with the past (the so-called Vergangenheitsbewältigung) alongside the simple fact that it is always hard to attach a specific date to a reunification and it is ultimately a process that will take years to truly achieve probably all go some way towards explaining the non-existent fireworks. I did have a brief glimmer of hope of finally getting my fireworks when Germany hosted the World Cup in 2006 - it was nice to see the Germans regain some form of “healthy” patriotism; showing the world they were proud to be German. Clearly not enough patriotism, however, as several years later, still no fireworks or Bratwurst in sight on the 3^rd of October.

Does anyone else have a logical explanation for the lack of celebrations? In any case, we (and I’m sure I speak on behalf of all Germans when I say this) remain grateful for the extra day off work – long live a reunified Germany.

Handing in Your Notice (on a flat)- the Kündigung

My first flat as a young professional in Germany was shared with another girl who was studying law. It was a conscious decision – I wanted to live with a German to improve my German and coming straight from university, I was used to living in shared accommodation. I knew I had to move out when over the course of several weeks, the buzzer started ringing at all hours of the day and night. I heard voices; lots of different male voices, giggling. One evening I got home around 5pm, tired after a hard day’s work. All I wanted was a cup of tea and to watch some TV in peace. I turn the key and shut the door behind me. I see a pair of shoes; male shoes.  A pair of trousers.  A shirt. I get to the entrance of my room and I find underwear that I have to literally climb over in order to get into my room. The trail continues all the way to her bedroom. Thank goodness they weren’t in mine, I suppose.

So I handed in my notice or “Kündigung”. In Germany, you have to give 3 months’ notice to your landlord that you want to move out and do so by sending an official letter.  Otherwise you are still liable to pay the rent or find someone else to move in after you – a so-called “Nachmieter.” I wrote the letter, got a colleague to check my German and posted it using good old Deutsche Post. I then moved out and the landlady (lawyer student’s mother) verbally promised to transfer my deposit to my bank account.

Two months later I received a threatening letter with lots of capital letters, exclamation marks and bold print from said landlady stating that I still owed her rent, money for bills, etc. because I hadn’t moved out the flat. Help! I am only 21 and this is my first really serious confrontation in German, in Germany and I know nothing about the law here or my legal rights. Little did I know then that it would not be my last …

I was advised to go to the “Mieterverein” – a tenants’ protection union and learned that problems with landlords are a common occurrence in Germany. They will literally try anything on given half a chance.  Surely there was no way she could get away with this though? She was wrong – I was right! Is there no justice in Germany? Put bluntly; no. Resistance is futile. I was essentially guilty until proven innocent.  

The “Mieterverein” were very friendly and very sympathetic and once I paid my yearly contribution of around 70 Euros, they wrote a few letters on my behalf. This probably saved me from a court battle (I had no legal insurance anyway) and meant that I ended up “only” losing my deposit and not having to pay her any additional money.

Why did I lose? Well, I learned that my beloved Deutsche Post provides not just one, but three different registered post services:

 “Rückschein”: someone has to sign on receipt – this can be your neighbour, literally anyone, who picks up the letter on your behalf

“Eigenhändig”: the letter is only delivered to the addressee, who then also has to sign for it

“Einschreiben Einwurf”: nobody has to sign – it is simply documented that the letter was delivered to the addressee’s letter box

Apparently, the only option that would have stood up in a court of law in my case was registered post “Eigenhändig”. Otherwise I could say what I like; I had no proof I had actually handed in my notice.