Mahlzeit!

In Germany there is no such thing as sandwich and crisps for lunch. It is the norm for people to have a “warme Mahlzeit” (hot meal) slap-bang in the middle of the day. For supper, they will have “Abendbrot” (literally evening bread), usually eaten around 6pm and consisting of a few slices of bread, cheese, cold meat, and the ubiquitous gherkin. It struck me as a bit upside-down to start with and it took me a while to get used to a heavy meal during my working day and having to fight off the lethargy that ensued in the afternoon. The idea does grow on you, though, and it is even apparently healthier than having a big meal in the evening, because you have all day to work off what you ate.

A lot of my colleagues go for lunch at 11.15am on the dot. Just for the record, we are not talking brunch or mid-morning snack – no - they actually have their hot, three course, main meal of the day at his time. Preparation starts at 11.10am when you start to hear people shuffling, putting their jackets on, and then walking up and down the corridors saying “Mahlzeit,” This is a common expression – a greeting used around lunch time – to which you answer “Mahlzeit” back. I suppose it can also loosely be translated as “enjoy your meal.” Other common expressions used here to indicate the intention of going for lunch and indirectly asking whether you would like to join are “happie happie,” or “mangiare.”

Why go so early? I’ve managed to come up with a few logical explanations. Firstly, my company is full of computer geeks, some of whom start programming at 7am, so, by 11am half their working day is over and they are understandably hungry. Secondly, my company also has around 12,000 employees here at its headquarters – that’s one hell of a lot of lunches – and therefore also very long queues if you choose your time badly. And thirdly, if there is something popular like “Fleischsalat” (meat salad) or “Kaiserschmarrn” (pancakes) on the menu for that day, then if you leave lunch until the more “normal” time of 1pm, there will be nothing left but reheated noodles from the day before.

Lunches in the company are generally good, despite what my husband will tell you (he is Spanish after all and therefore has higher standards than a Scottish highland nomad.) There is a big salad bar, a choice of three main courses, including a vegetarian option, various “Beilagen” (side dishes), and always two puddings to choose from.  Lunch is also a “geldwerter Vorteil” – a so-called non-cash benefit that you don’t pay for, but that is taxable. I think it works out as roughly 2 Euros a day, so it’s basically free, and boy do computer geeks love free things. Trays are always full to the brim and you will even see people taking extra rolls wrapped in napkins for their “Abendbrot.” You will also see people stuffing their pockets with bananas and apples from the fruit bar, and if there is cake or a yummy pudding, you will see people with stacks of two, three or even four bowls leaving the canteen. No wonder then that there are never any strawberries left for me when I go at 1pm! It is also a well-known fact that people have been fired, because they were caught taking their weekend supplies of salt, pepper, coffee, even toilet rolls, home with them.

Lunch in the company is rarely leisurely. In fact, the main aim is getting the food down as quickly as possible while exchanging as few words as possible.  If there must be conversation, make it about a current work topic and certainly nothing too personal. I would say it takes the average person 20 minutes to complete their lunch and so if you go for lunch at 11.15am, followed by a short walk or coffee, you can be back at your desk with a full belly by midday at the very latest.  At this time, I am still just about starting to contemplate going. Mahlzeit!

Scottish smiles

It has only taken me 10 years, but on Sunday I finally discovered the secret to somewhat breaking the ice in Germany. Yes, I inadvertently worked out a way to get people on the streets to look at me in the eye, smile, laugh, and even stop dead in their tracks to admire. This really is quite an achievement, believe me.

Just to clarify, I wasn’t doing anything to unnecessarily draw attention to myself and no, I most certainly wasn’t walking along the street in fancy dress, drunk, or anything like that. So, how did I manage?

Well, the truth be told, it wasn’t actually anything to do with me. On Sunday afternoon we were invited to our first “proper” children’s birthday party. Dressed for the occasion, our daughter donned her little Scottish outfit (thanks to Grandma) – a red tartan dress, white shirt with matching tartan trim on the collar and the sleeves, matching red hairclip, pretty red cardigan (knitted by her Abu), and very cute little court shoes.  She looked adorable (ok, I am completely and utterly biased) and understandably stood out on a Sunday when most children are dressed in their tracksuits and on their way to the nearest play park. 

I’ve never seen so many faces light up in such a short period of time. There were smiles and admiring glances galore on our brief walk through Heidelberg. Clearly I’d better invest in, or commission some more, dresses and cardigans to cheer up the citizens of Heidelberg on the dark and gloomy winter days to come!

Expat revival

After 10 years in Germany, I like to think that my husband and I are fairly well integrated into German society. We both started off in Germany with a large circle of expat friends from our respective countries. Slowly but surely, however, as is the temporary world of expats, they moved on and left us behind. Nowadays, we both still have our token British or Spanish expat friend, but also a lot of German friends and acquaintances.  

Over the last few weeks though, we have experienced an expat revival.  This all started when my husband met another woman (from Spain) in his pilates class and invited her over – along with her French husband and two kids. We got along well, so have since been invited over to their place for two parties, full of expats our age.

According to statistics, in December 2011, there were a total of 6.9 million expats living in Germany – and the figure is rising. Not surprisingly the biggest group is from Turkey (1.6m) closely followed by Italians and Polish. In Baden Württemberg, foreign expats make up 1.21m of the 10.74m population.  Germany at the moment is particularly attractive (if you are willing to put up with the somewhat formal and rigid lifestyle that is). The economy is powerful, unemployment rate is low, the country is interesting and affordable, the standard of schooling is high, public infrastructure is excellent; all of which allows us expats to enjoy a high quality of life.

The expats we met at the parties were all well- qualified, highly-educated middle to upper middle class people who left their countries not out of economic necessity, but rather because of fantastic job offers with high incomes and attractive relocation packages (school tuition fees paid, etc.) They were all typical expats in the sense that several personal traits united them; they were all very open-minded, welcoming, and genuinely interested in meeting new people and making new friends.

We thought we were international. Suddenly, we were plunged into an environment where mixed marriages were the norm, speaking two languages a necessity, speaking three or more languages, well, pretty ordinary really. We thought our trilingual daughter was unique - until we met a 13 year old Mexican girl, who speaks Spanish, English, German, Chinese and French fluently, because her father’s company relocates them every four years.  I lost count of the number of countries she has already lived in. Next time I meet her, I must ask her where she calls home – everywhere?  

It was fun to be back in a truly international environment.  I don’t think it matters how long you have lived in a foreign country and how integrated you feel; it’s always refreshing to meet people in similar situations and share your similar experiences. 

Trilingual Tochter

The decision to bring our daughter up trilingually was an easy one for us. Having grown up as a highland nomad, I have always been exposed to different cultures and languages and believe very strongly that the gift of language is priceless. It can only make you more open-minded and accepting in the long-term as well as open doors for your future. We haven’t done any research on the different approaches and as yet I don’t have any concerns (these, no doubt, will come later once her language use is more advanced, if we notice weaknesses, if she refuses to speak one or the other, etc.) Basically, she gets Spanish and English at home (one parent, one language) and German at nursery. I am hoping that consistency is the key and, as for the rest, only time will tell!

My daughter is 20 months old and has been attending a German nursery for a year now. She goes there most days from 9 until around 3.30, sometimes even longer, and seems to enjoy it (although she can’t speak yet, so still can’t tell me otherwise!) The only way I have of telling that she is happy is the way she picks up her shoes in the morning after breakfast, marches to the door and bangs on it until we are ready to leave. She then runs to the car and once out the other end, pushes the nursery door open, presses the button on the lift impatiently and then attempts to sprint all the way down the corridor until she reaches her home for the day – the Bienchennest (the Little Bee’s House). Once she’s in the room, she happily turns around to me, gives me her regal wave, says “bye bye” and off she goes. Not every day is like this, but thank goodness, and touch wood, most are and will continue to be.

As I said, at home I speak to her in English and my husband always speaks to her in Spanish; but English is the main family language. We have a competition running on how many words she can say in each and which she will pick up the fastest. I succumbed to a Spanish passport (it was cheaper than the British one – much cheaper – we are talking almost 300 Euros cheaper! I’ll resist the jokes about no-one wanting to be Spanish…), so I am obviously even more determined that she learns English first. Spanish was definitely in the lead – I think it’s a much easier language to learn, in terms of the vowel sounds anyway – and she picked up words like “Hola”, “Gato”, Vaca” and “esto” really quickly. Luckily for me, however, her British grandparents have just spent the week here, so for the time being, English is back in pole position. She now happily says words like bye-bye, hello, car, house, apple, fafafly (butterfly) and papapat (Postman Pat; her favourite cartoon).

The only German words we knew she said were “Nein”, “Meins” (mine) and “Auto”. The word “nein” was one of the first words she said in any language – I’m guessing she needed this to defend herself against the other children in nursery. The funniest thing was that she also perfected the wagging finger to go along with it (definitely from nursery as 1. We don’t say “nein” and 2. We don’t finger wag).

We knew therefore that she spoke the odd word in all three languages and that she understands mostly everything you say to her or ask her to do in Spanish and English. But until yesterday we had no clue and to be honest, hadn’t even thought about, how much German she really understood. We went to pick her up as usual and were standing at the door waiting for her to finish her drink. One of the group leaders turned and said to her “Hol bitte dein Oberteil von der Heizung ab!” (pick up your top from the radiator – so not even the most basic of sentences) and so off she ran to the radiator, picked up her top, and brought it over to me. It suddenly dawned on us that our daughter is trilingual…and that it won’t be long until she understands more German than us!

Turn up naked and shop for free!

How about I give you 270 Euros worth of food shopping to celebrate and promote the opening of my new supermarket?

Sounds great, you say, but what’s the catch?

It’s really simple - the first 100 people to show up naked and shop naked can take advantage of the special offer!

This is exactly what happened in Süderlügum, a town in the North of Germany in June this year. Apparently it was such a hit that the police had to get involved to control the amount of people entering at any one time. 

You don’t believe me?

Read about it in German in the Bild (and see the pictures!): 

http://www.bild.de/news/inland/nackt/gratis-einkauf-wenn-kunden-nackt-kommen-24695332.bild.html

Or in  English on ABC news:

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/business/2012/06/nude-grocery-shopping-spree-turns-heads/

Food frenzies 2 - queuing

The true horror and culture shock kicks in at the checkouts. Queues in supermarkets here are nearly always long and there are never enough checkouts open. You try to choose your queue wisely, but you invariably always end up in the slowest lane. Last week  you thought you had made a good choice of queues, but the two guys in front of you actually divided their shopping pile into four and paid four times, prolonging your agony.

After 10 years sufferance, you have learned that there is no time to be British, i.e. polite and patient at the checkout, or indeed, in any queue, in Germany. You either push in or get pushed out. Don’t hesitate and whatever you do, don’t leave a gap between you and the person in front; there will always be someone who tries to sneak in.  

And that’s when it happens. The loudspeaker rings and informs you that a new check out is opening.  Again, there is no time to ask the person in front of you kindly if they would like to go first. No, this is your one chance to jump the queue and beat everyone else. You ram your shopping trolley into the new lane as quickly as possible with complete disregard to any previously existing lines. 

As you load all your items onto the conveyor belt, you get more and more nervous as you near your turn at the till. You know you will need to execute every move perfectly over the next few minutes in order to avoid a long line of angry Germans (and even grumpier cashier). Bagging areas in Germany are tiny and the speed at which the ladies at the till work is astonishing. Your items are whisked through the scanner and you desperately try to pack all your items in keeping with the cashier’s pace, before you are basically pushed out of the supermarket by the next customer in line.

After years of training, you and your husband have perfected the technique. You no longer fumble for your EC Karte (bank card) in a sweaty panic while trying to finish the packing and balancing the remaining items in your hands. You always pay by bank card these days, as you also know that if you pay by cash you will inevitably be given change – change that is usually slammed down onto a plastic area near the till, complicating the process further, as you then have to pick up all the coins individually and put them back in your purse.

The cashier, who hasn’t once looked up, asks you “War alles in Ordnung mit dem Einkauf?” (was everything ok with your shopping experience), but you can tell she has no interest in hearing your answer and you often wonder whether she would even notice if you said no. 

And so it is all over for another week. The weekend can finally begin. 

Food frenzies 1 - shopping

Finally it’s the weekend! You wake up on a Saturday morning and don’t have to get up, jump in the shower, get your daughter ready for nursery, have breakfast and run out the door to work.

No, far, far worse than that.

It is Saturday and Saturday means weekly food shopping day. You and your husband love food and enjoy cooking, but you both hate your weekly food shop with a passion (unless you go to France, which you try to do as often as possible).   You won’t find any supermarkets in Germany open on a Sunday, so you have no choice but to face up to the fact that it’s either shop or starve. You know you have to be there early or all the fresh produce will be gone (what’s the point in restocking shelves anyway?) and if you leave it any later than say 10am, you will be fighting half the population of Heidelberg for the remainder of said fresh produce. There is also no such thing as online food shopping in Germany yet (at least not for fresh produce.) But in their favour, nowadays at least supermarkets here will accept credit cards, in Rewe they have even started offering cash-back, and the opening times are far better than when I first moved here (back in 1998, they shut at 2pm on Saturday and didn’t reopen until Monday morning).

You and your husband always go food shopping together to provide each other with moral support. There are certain supermarkets that you hate more than others. Your local Kaufland, for example, is also where the local drunks go to buy their beer for breakfast and the first shelf you encounter on entering the shop is stacked with “Hundefütter”. Yes, dog food, really enticing. Nevertheless, you often go there, simply because it’s the closest and most convenient supermarket.

Before leaving, you double-check that you have enough bags to pack your shopping into (it’s either bring your own or pay for them), and that you have a 1 Euro coin for the trolley. You then bite the bullet and off you go.

The selection of brands in Kaufland is limited and if you are looking for more “exciting” products, like curry spices, or even international products like your baked beans or digestives, go straight to a Rewe or an Edeka (more upmarket supermarkets). Alnatura is also a really nice place to shop. Also, don’t expect much selection of meat (apart from everything pork) or a fresh fish counter. The only advantage of a warehouse-like shop, such as Kaufland, is that because there is no choice, you can whizz up and down the aisles, getting your weekly shop done in no time at all.

You are extra careful in the fruit and vegetable section of the supermarket. Under no circumstances must you forget to weigh all your fruit and veg. The last thing you want is to face a long line of outraged shoppers in the queue behind you as you are forced to weigh the celeriac you were convinced was charged by the piece.

After a quick stop to drop off some empty beer bottles to collect your so-called “Pfand” (bottle deposit), which can be as much as 25 cents per bottle (so don't throw any away by mistake!), it’s time to pay.