Student - Landlord Speed Dating

I wasn’t planning on blogging this morning, but I just want to quickly share something I heard on the radio this morning and made me giggle. My morning drive into work is roughly half an hour depending on traffic and I always listen to “Radio Regenbogen’s Morgenshow.” University is starting up again here next week, so they were discussing the topic of student flats. Apparently, a 25sqm room in a student flat in Baden Württemberg can cost up to 500 Euros these days! Ouch. When I was a student here I was paying 180 DM – yes, Deutsche Mark, not Euros. And I was living in the Hauptstrasse (main street) in Heidelberg.

In order to facilitate students finding accommodation, the first “Student – Landlord Speed Dating Event” was held last night in Karlsruhe.  Did I just hear right, I thought, in my half-asleep state at 8am in the morning. Yes, I sure did. 12 landlords and 12 students had 5 minutes to get to know each other and then decide whether to exchange numbers.

I think about my own experience of speed dating and I think of Mr Müller – both highly disturbing thoughts for 8am in the morning. My mind starts to work overtime. Won’t this kind of event see all the 50 something, divorced, lonely landlords come crawling out of the woodwork to find themselves a “nice” student specimen and students lying through their teeth, desperate to find a flat?

I imagine the 5 minute conversation developing as follows …

“Good evening. So you’re looking for a flat?”

-          -  “Yes, Herr Müller.”

“Do you drink?”

-         -   “Of course not, Herr Müller.”

“Do you like to go out or host house parties and play loud music?”

-        -    “No, Herr Müller, I am a nice, quiet girl.”

“How many hours do you study a week?”

-       -     “At least 10 hours a day, Herr Müller. Lectures, library, study, study some more, that’s me.  How much is the rent, Herr Müller?”

“For you, only 200 Euros a month. Special student price. I’d really like you to move in with me…err, I mean, my flat for rent.”

Mr Müller and the Mould

“Sie müssen gut lüften. Vergessen Sie das bitte nicht. Hier ist ein Lüftungsleitfaden (You must ventilate well. Please do not forget. Here is a Ventilation Instruction Manual”), were among Mr Müller’s first words to us upon moving into one of his new-build flats in a building owned by him in the most expensive area in Heidelberg; Neuenheim.

In fact, before going on with the story, perhaps we should get to know Mr Müller a bit better. Mr Müller is short man, his obviously blonde hair at one stage is now grey, he sports a neat moustache, has unfriendly piercing blue eyes, never smiles, and very rosy cheeks. He is a drunk; an uneducated drunk; a very rich, uneducated drunk. I’ll leave it to you to speculate on how he made his money. Suffice to say he lives in the huge penthouse flat that covers the whole area of the building we moved into (that he owns entirely) with his wife. She is still very blonde, fake-tanned, also a drunk (clearly she has to be to put up with him) and is slightly more friendly. Together they own three parking spots in the garage modestly filled with a Mercedes SL, a Mercedes ML and, wait for it, the piece de resistance, a Bentley Cabrio. Somewhat paradoxically then, you will find him on a daily basis, sweeping the pavement outside the building, cleaning the garage or taking out the rubbish himself in his Birkenstocks.

You haven’t had much contact with him, apart from the standard “Guten Tag.”  That is, until you return from your three week holiday and discover mould growing on the walls in your bedroom. You phone Mr Müller to inform him. He shouts at you on the phone, but agrees to come down from the castle, take a look, and clean off the mould. “Ihr habt nicht richtig gelüftet” (you have not aired properly), he says, handing us more photocopied sheets on the airing process including picture diagrams. You must air at least 3 times a day for 10 minutes a time. You’ve been on holiday for 3 weeks? Well then, you need to get someone to come over during that time to air for you.

Now, I don’t like a stuffy flat any more than the next person. I have asthma and like to be able to breathe. I aired the flat. The problem is new-builds in Germany are usually so well-built, that nothing comes in or out. Great in the winter and great for your heating bills, but no so great for mould on walls, for example.

The next contact we had with Mr Müller, who as a result of the mould, basically told us to move out, was when we were doing the handover. Picture both Mr and Mrs Müller drunk as skunks on their hands and knees to inspect the wooden flooring, shouting at us as Mr Müller finds a 15.7cm scratch in his prize flooring. “Abschleifen!”(Polish!) he shouted. You will not get your deposit back until ze floor has been professionally polished. A few weeks later we receive a bill through the post for the completed job. We know for a fact that the work was never done; the bill was a fake. Perhaps this is an indication of how Mr Müller made his money.

Stoßlüften - Hardcore Airing

“Stoßlüften.”

Anyone who has spent any time in Germany will know the meaning of this word. For the benefit of everyone else, it means to hardcore air or to ventilate.  Run a quick search of “lüften” in Google Germany and the association the Germans have with this word will become clear. “Richtiges Heizen und Lüften”, “Tipps fürs richtige Lüften,” and of course, “Lüftungsleitfaden” are top of the list. Run a similar search in Google UK and the output is totally different.  We all know the Germans like their rules. And believe me there are rules. Even on airing flats. Rules on temperature of flats, how long to ventilate during different kinds of weather, when you have washing hanging up, when you have done the ironing, the distance you should keep your cupboards from external walls. You name it, there is a rule.

Selling

Selling our flat in Germany has been a painless process. Maybe we are meant to leave? We signed up to an agent, who we paid 2,38% of the total price of the flat in fees. She then took care of the whole process – advertising, showing people around, and also joined us at the “Notar” (notary) to sign the contract. Note that you have to pay the agent's fees immediately after sale - so, in our case, even 3 months before you receive the money from your buyer - be sure to have the cash! 

We made an extremely quick sale – the first couple that viewed the property declared their intention to buy within a week of it being on the market at the full asking price. This surprised both of us.  Before signing up to this agent we were actually told by another agent that there was no way we would get our asking price; our property was after all “second hand” and he told us to sell it for a considerable amount less. Also, given our smoking neighbours  on one side and our party animal loud-music-playing student neighbours on the other, there was always a concern that one or the other or, perish the thought, both, would be happening at exactly the same moment potential buyers arrived to view the flat. (Oh, and incidentally, the smoking scenario did. Needless to say that couple did not buy the flat.)

Historically, the Germans are a nation of renters. They prefer to rent accommodation rather than buy. Once they decide to buy, unless of course they have unlimited financial means, they usually stay in the property for a long time and there isn’t the same buy-sell-upgrade mentality like in the UK. More often than not, Germans will save and around their late 40s, early 50s decide to buy a plot of land and build a family home. The difference in attitude reflects the difference in housing markets – in  Germany over the last 10 years have risen a mere 2-3%. In fact, since the 1990s housing prices have actually fallen. Buying a flat is also not that easy to finance. Most banks require a deposit of around 20% and proof of earnings over several years before they will even consider giving you a mortgage. You are also highly taxed for buying a flat. The “Grunderwerbsteuer” (property transfer tax) is roughly 3,5% and you pay annual tax on your property.

These times are now changing and due to low interest rates, higher rental prices, and particularly in Baden Württemberg, more demand than supply on rental accommodation, more Germans are opting to buy at a younger age. The good news is that we were very lucky and able to take advantage of this bubble. In our case, the buyer is 25 years old and his father is paying for the flat outright. The bad news is, this means moving out by December and finding rental accommodation.  At least it gives me something to write about!

Friday Night Fernsehen

It’s Friday night, your child is tucked up in bed and you have had your dinner. You can’t hit the town, because you have no babysitter, you can’t drink because you are pregnant. It’s either go to bed (except that it’s only 9.15pm – early even by your standards), or turn on the TV or "der Fernseher".

We pay the GEZ (Gebühreneinzugszentrale) – basically German TV licensing – 53,94 EUR every 3 months, so you kind of feel like you ought be watching a certain amount on the box. In Germany, you pay for every TV or radio you have - per radio per month is 5,76 EUR, for one TV and one radio per month, 17,98 EUR. This is changing in January 2013 when they are introducing a system like we have in the UK: a fixed rate per household.  To be honest you are better off saving yourself the fees, joining the library or reading “Der Spiegel”. TV in Germany is not that great if you are used to the variety of choice offered in the UK, for example. My advice is to get yourself a VPN, so that you can watch UK, Spanish, whatever, TV on the Internet.

Anyway, the TV is on. You start to flick. It’s a bit late for the programmes that you usually like watching – “Das perfekte Dinner”, “Mieten, Kaufen, Wohnen”, “Goodbye Deutschland”, amongst others. You are basically left with a few 8.15pm films (all dubbed of course), a few crime series (Germans love CSI, Cobra 11, Criminal Minds, etc.), or watching the news on CNN or BBC News. You should have gone to bed after all.

The biggest channels in Germany are ARD, ZDF, RTL, Pro7, Sat1, etc., and you can also get French, Spanish, even Arabic channels as well as CNN and BBC News. Popular shows are “Tatort”, “Wetten Dass..”, “Deutschland sucht den Superstar”, anything to do with Stefan Raab and David Hasselhof is extremely popular. Say no more.

Personally, I enjoy a bit of Gunter Jauch presenting “Wer wird Millionär”. Oh, not to forget the televised Saturday night festivals of German folk music – anyone come up with a better way to spend a Saturday night than singing, dancing and clapping to German “Schlager” music and watching all the Dirndls and Lederhosen?  And if that still doesn’t float your boat, there is always the post-midnight selection of TV shows. On that note; goodnight, schlaf gut!

To buy or not to buy?

You are fed up of renting. You are fed up of landlords. What’s the obvious solution? Buy! Be your own landlord! Surely this will be better than being responsible to someone else and living in someone else’s property according to their rules. You decide to invest your savings (what’s the point in having money in banks these days anyway) and buy a flat in Germany. You go for a new build, which is under five years guarantee. You choose the perfect location in the centre of town, close to absolutely everything you could possibly want – the station, shops, swimming pools, schools, nurseries, play parks, etc. You decide that you want to live in it yourselves for a few years and even if after that you want to move, it will be a good investment, because 4 room flats in Heidelberg are hard to come by and very easy to rent out.

How do you go about it?

You will not find “For Sale” signs anywhere in Germany, so finding a flat to buy is generally done through an “Immobilienmakler” (estate agent). Calculate additional costs of around 10% of the “Kaufpreis” (purchase price). These costs include your agent’s commission, tax, and notary costs. Once you find something, you generally sign a “Kaufzusage” (a declaration of commitment to buy).

You then have to find a bank to give you a mortgage. My husband is responsible for all things financial in our house, so it was his task as a Spanish native to find a solution. As mentioned, it is not that easy to get a mortgage in Germany without a significant amount of “Eigenkapital” (own capital). You have to prove your value as a mortgage-taker; provide income statements for the last 3 years, show that you have an unlimited permanent employment contract, declare any assets, such as savings, pensions, as well as any debts, however small, that you have. Even the new TV I bought last week on credit? Yes, even that. By the end of the inquest, you feel like you have been strip-searched.  

I remember going to three different credit institutions; a Dutch Orange Bank and two local banks. When we signed, interest rates in Germany were at 5% - nowadays they are as low as 2.5%. Now, listen very carefully I shall say ‘zis only once – make sure you read all the small print! There was a tiny section in the Dutch Orange contract stating that they were entitled to resell our mortgage to a 3^rd party (do banks ever learn?!) And even the mortgage we signed in the end has a tiny section at the end of the contract with details about the “Vorfälligkeitsentschädigung” – the so-called prepayment penalty – designed to compensate your bank for any losses if you exit your mortgage agreement earlier than arranged. It’s such a seemingly small and insignificant section of the document as a whole that you only really realise its true significance when you inform the bank of your intention of selling. They subsequently inform you that that will be a fine of 30,000 Euros thank you very much. No exaggeration.

Anyway, once buyer and seller have agreed a price, the next step is to sign a property sales contract, ”Kaufvertrag”  in the presence of a notary;  the “Notar”. His fees are usually total around 2% of the purchase price. He reads the whole contract of sales verbatim in German. You are made to swear at the beginning that you can understand the whole document and that you therefore forego an interpreter. You are sort of lying through your teeth; at the very least your husband is. In our case, it took the Notar 2 hours to read the whole thing, so imagine how many pages it contained. By the end, you are totally exhausted and drained. You keep telling yourself it must, must be worth it. You have a brief moment of trepidation – I am actually buying a flat in Germany - do I really want to live in Germany? You then sign and the notary enters you into the land register. Done deal.  You are officially a “Wohnungseigentümer” (homeowner). You go home and celebrate with a large bottle of red wine and a strong whiskey.

Sounds easy, right? Well, we are (just about) living evidence that it can be done by non-natives. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, I think we were insane! 

Don't forget the Übergabeprotokoll!

I learned the importance of the “Übergabeprotokoll” (handover document) the hard way. This is essentially a document that you go should insist on going through when you move into a flat and write down whether there are any damages or if there is anything missing in the flat. This can be anything from windows that don’t open properly to scratches on the floor, etc. Make sure you check everything and no matter how small or trivial you consider it to be; get it in writing. The document should also act as a kind of inventory and include anything that you are getting with the flat; mirrors in the bathroom, towel railings, number of keys, etc. The Germans are well-known for their bureaucracy, so as the saying goes, if you can’t beat them; join them!

Like I said, I learned the hard way. As a student, I moved into a room in a “Studentenwohnheim” (student halls) and it was the only room in the corridor with a carpet. I thought nothing more of it. The “Hausmeister” (caretaker) handed me the keys and that was it; I was in. 

A year later and my year abroad in Germany had come to an end. A different caretaker was there to check all was ok and sign a document to give me back my deposit on moving out.  “Die Tapete gehört aber nicht zu der Wohnung,” he said. (The carpet, however, does not belong to the flat). After a measly attempt to explain that it was in the flat when I moved in and trying to reason with him that it should therefore also stay there, he told me there would be no deposit unless the carpet came out.

This situation was bad, but was compounded further by the fact that I had returned in the early hours of that very morning from a very drunken farewell do. My head was pounding and my dad had turned up to quickly pick me up and drive back to the UK. Anyone who knows my dad also knows that he is very punctual and tolerates no nonsense. We all ended up on the floor along with my very kind French neighbor, for what seemed like hours, using various kitchen utensils to scrape up the carpet. The only word that came and still comes to mind when I relive the situation is “Scheisse!”  I will never, ever, ever again forget the “Übergabeprotokoll.”

DIY - The Renovierung

Another peculiarity to the German system of renting flats is the “Renovierung” or the renovation. Here, it is your responsibility as a tenant to paint or redecorate the flat. Usually you can choose whether you paint on moving in or just before you move out. Be very careful when reading the “Mietvertrag” (contract) that you sign. Sometimes the landlord may state that every 5 years a “big” renovation has to take place. This involves renovating the bathroom, kitchen, doors, door frames, etc. and is definitely something you want to steer well clear of.  Renovating when you first move into a flat is obviously the best option as you can choose your own colours, etc.  Here again you can opt to pay someone (also “Schwarz”) to do the job for you. But why would you pay for something you can do yourself?  You are after all trying to assimilate to German society and do as the Germans do. So, get yourself down to your local Bauhaus, buy the cheapest set of brushes, the cheapest quality of paint and get the job done yourself.

Moving On...The Umzug

You are on a high. FINALLY you have found a suitable flat, by some miracle, been accepted by the landlord and can plan your move, or “Umzug”.  You have just spent a considerable amount of money on the deposit, perhaps the agent’s costs and perhaps also a new “Einbauküche”. The last thing you want to do is spend even more money paying a removal company to take care of your move. No worries. Germany is full of individuals/small “companies” that are willing to moonlight, “schwarzarbeiten” to help you out. I did this once and two men turned up at 6pm with their van to pack up and unload my 3 room flat. They totally underestimated the amount of work and in order to get the job finished at a decent hour, I ended up helping them. All in all though, it worked out well and of course, at half the price of an official moving company, I couldn’t really complain at having to lift a few odd boxes.

If the thought of spending any more money at all on your damn move horrifies you, as it does many Germans, who consider that money is mainly for security and not for spending, you can always opt for what is, in my opinion, the most common method of moving house in Germany. Rent a cheap van yourself (which should cost a maximum of 50 euros including petrol) and call on all your strong friends to come over and help you out. 

Yes, even if you live on the 5^th floor of an “Altbau” (older building of flats) without a lift. Yes, even if you do drive a BMW X5. Yes, even if you are both working and can clearly afford to enlist the help of professionals. You would frankly rather save the money for your next big car, your annual ski trip to the alps or your summer holiday to the Gardasee.  Or, of course, stash the money away in a savings account, because you are worried about your pension. A very popular slogan in Germany, started by the electronics chain Saturn in 2002, says it all: Geiz ist geil! (Being stingy is cool!) Remember this slogan.  

Flat Hunting Part 1

I'm starting my blog with a series all about renting, buying, and selling flats in Germany...

How difficult can it possibly be to find a flat to rent in Germany? Surely all you need to do is clearly define your search criteria, get the local paper or look on some local websites, write down a few telephone numbers, make a few viewing appointments, sign the contract, move in. Think again. If you are looking for a flat, particularly somewhere expensive like Heidelberg, then I have two words for you – “Good Luck!”

Don’t be silly, you think. After all, you speak fluent German, like to think your needs are pretty basic; nothing fancy - and at the end of the day, you are open to making a few compromises.  A two bedroom flat with living room, kitchen, bathroom, cellar and parking spot should do the trick.

You start with the internet and search the websites www.immobilenscout24.de and www.immonet.de. You enter your search criteria as per above, enter how much you are willing to pay for the pleasure. You hit “Suchen” (search) and a huge list of possible flats to rent, “Mietwohnungen”, come up. Ha, you think. I knew it wasn’t going to be difficult. Buzz words like “elegant und exclusiv”, “pfiffig in schöner Lage”, and “großzügig und stilvoll” (generous and stylish) – this sounds great!

Filled with confidence, you click on the first advert. Your heart sinks. How do I possibly make sense of all of this? The “Kaltmiete” (“cold rent”; so rent without heating costs) is 1.100 EUR, “ Nebenkosten” (extra costs including heating, someone to clean the stairwells, take the rubbish out, etc. )are 240 EUR, a “Stellplatz” (parking spot) will cost you an additional 50 EUR a month and on top of all of that there is a “Provision” (commission) of 2,38% of the “Kaltmonatsmieten”.  Not forgetting the “Kaution” (deposit) of +- 3 months rent. You scroll down. It says there are 4 rooms. Another catch! 4 rooms in Germany does not mean 4 bedrooms – it means 4 ROOMS – including the living room and possibly the dining room. You scroll again. No “Einbauküche EBK” (built-in kitchen). What? You actually have to buy a kitchen? Yes, flats in German tend to come with no fitted kitchens, no fitted wardrobes, etc . Nada. So, on top of all the costs listed above, you will also have to fork out another few thousand euros for a kitchen or if you are lucky, will have the option to buy the kitchen off the previous tenant.

What the hell? I have to start somewhere. You pick up the phone and make a viewing appointment. On the phone, however, you are quizzed as to who you are, what you do for a living, and do you have any pets or kids. Be prepared for the answer that, no, sorry, the building is “Kinderfrei”(child-free). Wow, this is already testing my patience you think. Well, wait for it, you haven’t experienced anything yet!

Flat Hunting Part 2

During my current search for rental accommodation in Germany, I have seen a total of 4 flats. The first one was cheap, but the landlords lived in the flat below, had cats, and I would have had to walk through their house to get to the “Waschraum”. Yes, often in Germany, you aren’t even allowed a washing machine in your flat, but have to march all the way down to the basement to wash your clothes. Not an option for the price they were asking. Flat number 2’s current tenants had rabbits that ran around the flat – it was too dirty for words. No way. Flat number 3 was better – well looked after, it had a kitchen (the previous tenants wanted 500 euros). Minor issues ultimately. We decided to say we were interested.

With this, you move to the next stage of looking for a flat in Germany – the “Meet the Landlord” stage. Basically he checks you out, you check him out. Sound reasonable? I thought so, until this one declared he wanted to meet us in our own home to see how we live. He arrived in my home and requested a tour of my flat. He handed me a questionnaire to fill out, including how much money we earn each month. Luckily I don’t know the German translation for take your flat and stick it up your ****!

Sheer desperation has led me to expand my search. I am now willing to pay twice as much to get a “Neubauwohnung”(new-build) in an area close to the centre. I am even willing to pay the agent’s fees and purchase my own kitchen in the hope of finding somewhere nice to live with a decent “Vermieter”(landlord). My search continues….

Welcome!

Imagine you have been living in a foreign country – Germany – for a total of almost 10 years. One day, you start to reflect on your experiences during those years and it suddenly dawns on you that you have been a student there, got your first job after graduating there, met your husband there, had two children there, rented numerous flats there, and even bought and sold a property there. You also studied German, so you consider yourself fairly fluent in both the German language and way of life. Nevertheless, you aren’t naïve and you always knew that living in a foreign country would have its ups and downs. What you didn’t realise was just how many. Here is my version of the story. I hope you find something you can relate to and feel free to laugh at or with me. Welcome to my blog!