A breath of fresh air

When I get into work in the morning, I often leave the windows wide open to let some clean air in, particularly if, like today, the sun is shining. There is nothing better than a bit of “Stoßlüften” (hardcore airing) to get rid of any lingering body odour from the day before and to enjoy the smell of fresh air before the influx of colleagues, who take their shoes off and put their Birkenstock sandals on (which they have permanently stored under their desks). Once this has occurred, you know you have had it; the smell of foosty feet once again gradually starts to penetrate the whole corridor. I then leave the windows on tilt, knowing that if I’m lucky, I’ll be able to fully open the windows again when they all disappear for lunch at 11.15am.

This morning, my colleague arrived and I could see the look of horror in her eyes as she caught sight of the dreaded tilted windows. She told me that she had to close them immediately; at the weekend she had slept with the window open and caught a draft: “ich habe mir einen Zug geholt.” (literally I got myself a train) She’s now apparently fighting off a cold and her son also can’t stop coughing. She has since then told this story to at least another two friends on the phone this morning. I’m just surprised that she is actually in the office. Normally these kind of deadly breezes knock the Germans into their sick bed for days. They can also cause all types of problems with your “Kreislauf” (circulation) and much, much more.

Yes, believe it or not, fresh air is dangerous.  All windows (whether in the office, in the car, on the train, etc.) must therefore be shut and the fresh air kept outside where it belongs. “Es zieht!” (it’s drafty!”) is a phrase that you will hear a lot in Germany. Germans paradoxically love the outdoors and fresh air while enjoying an outdoors activity is considered healthy; just don’t allow the fresh air to creep indoors.

Perhaps this is why the concept of (evil) air conditioning has never really taken off over here, despite hot summers. It can get up to 40 degrees Celsius and so on some days the atmosphere in my office is unbearable; imagine sweaty, sticky, smelly bodies and colleagues, who still insist on taking their shoes off.