Everything is forbidden; apart from that, do what you like

“Hey, das ist hier keine Strasse!” („Hey, this isn’t a street!”)

These precise words were shouted at me last Friday by a worker at a local company as I cut a corner on my bike through the company’s property. For the record, the street is open, there are no “no entry” signs and everyone uses it. But, of course, in Germany, a rule is a rule, even if it’s unwritten, and ze rules must not be broken.

There are so many quirky rules here that I just don’t know where to start. I suppose the fact that I now think of so many of these rules as completely normal bears testimony to how Germanised (“eingedeutscht”) I have become.  For example, a “quiet” time (“Ruhezeit”) must be observed between noon and 3pm, after 9pm every evening and all day on a Sunday during which it is forbidden to mow the lawn, wash cars, play loud music, hammer nails, drill, etc. No playing at playgrounds is allowed during the Ruhezeit or after 8pm. I even read once that it’s forbidden to hang out your washing on a Sunday (although nothing has ever happened to me for doing that yet!) There are also lots of rules on rubbish and rubbish sorting – but more on that in another blog.

While out and about, be sure to observe pedestrian zones, cycle paths, cycle down the right side of the road and never on the pathway. Make sure you give way to the right when you are not on a main road. Accelerate off quickly at traffic lights – if you don’t move fast enough, you will be tooted at. If you are breaking a rule or doing something wrong, you will be told. I was once shouted at for parking on the street outside my flat even though I was only unloading my shopping; I was still blocking the pathway for pedestrians. One of the funniest occasions was when my husband was told off for parking up on the curb near the nursery while he waited for me to fetch our daughter, because there were no other places to park. He pulled away, only to see the driver who had complained in the first place move straight into his spot afterwards!

Also, beware that people are watching you; waiting for their chance to report you to the police if they see anything suspicious or think you are breaking the rules. You will sometimes see a face suddenly appear from behind a curtain, mostly elderly faces, watching the comings and goings. The window will then open and they will even just ask you what you are doing (this happened a few times when I was looking for flats and waiting outside for the estate agents to show me around). Somebody once reported a friend of mine to the police for practicing her driving illegally in an empty parking lot. She was fined. Another friend got a phone call from the police to say that someone had reported her scratching another car and driving off without reporting it. My husband’s friend got caught accidentally dropping a piece of paper while taking his rubbish out. Unfortunately, it was a receipt with his card details on it. Someone must have phoned the police, who promptly turned up at his house to give him his fine.

You have been warned!